


How to fool a million

by RainyMonday



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: "Hannibal's cooking tips for humans", Cannibalism, Cooking, Established Relationship, Food is People, Hannibal Loves Will, Hannibal is Hannibal, Hannibal is a Cannibal, Hiding in Plain Sight, M/M, Murder Husbands, Will Loves Hannibal, Will is a Cannibal, YouTube Channel, they fool everybody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 08:34:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11100864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainyMonday/pseuds/RainyMonday
Summary: Hannibal and Will have a YouTube channel called “Hannibal’s cooking tips for humans” on which Hannibal gives cooking tips in a very equivocal way. Of course nobody realizes. Both of them enjoying fooling their viewers, especially on “Ask the cook”-day.





	How to fool a million

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in this fandom, so I hope I got the characters right.  
> I just watched all 3 season in less than one week (this show is so awesome and brilliantly done) and couldn't get the idea of Hannibal having a cooking channel on YouTube out of my head, so I wrote this.  
> I hope you enjoy!

“Do you think they’ll ask the question?”, Will asked while he set up the camera.  
Hannibal offered him one of his crooked grins, showing his amusement considering ordinaries. “I’m quite sure they will. Enjoying their blindness was one of the reasons to set this up. And it worked extremely well so far”, Hannibal replied, sounding as content as the cat that ate the neighbor’s canary bird.  
“You love fooling all of them”, Will set up the last adjustment for the camera, his face spread into a smile as well. It had been his idea after all.  
Hannibal chuckled. “You bath in their ignorance too”, he stated, arranging the last utensils and his knives. Hannibal loved his knives. Will did too.  
“You caught me”, he admitted, “ready?”  
“To mess with the food?”, Hannibal grinned wide now, standing behind the kitchen counter in one of his perfect suits. He wore them all the time during the videos and for the rest of most days too. He owned one for every day of the year at least. And maybe even more if he counted the plastic ones Hannibal wore for obtaining food.  
Will smiled remembering the first time he accompanied Hannibal while getting food. It had been red and crimson and beautiful. And delicious afterwards. Hannibal had made heart tatar and Will liked to think of it as a proof of love. Offering a heart. His heart. He had savored every taste of it. Every bite. He could still taste the human flesh on his tongue and lips when he closed his eyes. He’d always remember it. A confession of love. Hannibal’s love.  
“What are you thinking about, Will?”, Hannibal said suddenly behind him, his breath hot on his neck and ear. Will shivered, snapping back into present. He had lost track of time again, dwelling in his memories.  
“Food”, he answered, his fingers brushing over Hannibal’s, “and you”.  
He felt, sensed, Hannibal humming in content. He knew Hannibal knew. Because he always knew. There was such a deep understanding between them now.  
“If you want to, I’ll make heart tatar for dinner”, he suggested, his lips now actually brushing over Will’s skin.  
He heard him inhaling, smelling. Knew that Hannibal was closing his eyes to bath in his smell as he always did. Will had changed his aftershave a while ago. Hannibal had been all over him as soon as he smelled it.  
“I’d love that”, Will replied, turning around in Hannibal’s arms, kissing him, pressing their bodies together, “but first we should make this video. Before we look like a complete mess”  
A small laugh came from Hannibal, his fingers lingering on his body for another moment before he walked back to the kitchen, standing in front of the camera.  
“Okay, let’s find out if the food has any questions”, Hannibal said and both were only waiting for the question. Or for rude comments. Rude comments always meant a big dinner party. Will hit the ‘play’-button of the camera and scrolled through the questions already asked.  
Hannibal had become quite popular by now; his views had crossed the ‘one million’-milestone a while ago and people started coming up with theories explaining the show’s name. They had discussed the name, and Will had been against it, but Hannibal had insisted on ‘for humans’. He liked games after all, outwitting others.  
And as their lines and bodies began to blur more and more, as the feeling of power over others flooded his veins, he understood. It was like serving the city’s rich and famous human flesh, only that they reached so many more people. The feeling of triumph, of power and control was something that couldn’t compare to anything else. Or to almost nothing else. Seeing Jack enjoying the meals, complementing them was nothing compared to hundreds of people marveling Hannibal’s cooking skills.  
There were evening on which they simply lied on the couch with two glasses of expensive wine and went through the comments, talking about the naivety they displayed, enjoying their power. Those evening were beautiful too, full of skin brushing over skin, their lips connecting then and there, their breathes and hearts working in union. Those were the nights Will wasn’t sure where he ended and Hannibal began. He could lie there forever, his back curled against Hannibal’s, sharing their warmth, their thoughts, the very inside of their beings.  
The only thing that could compare, match, were those nights they were both soaked in blood, smelling of crimson and death and beauty. It shouldn’t be thrilling, but it was. Every time. It was the darkness that constantly hummed in his mind and it was Hannibal’s voice in his head praising him every time.  
“You can start now”, Will said and selected the first questions he’d ask. Most people asked the same, so it was an easy choice thought he reserved the best one for the ending.  
“As promised, today is ‘ask the cook’-day”, Hannibal started, his face showing a perfect smile that didn’t reach his eyes. It did thought as his eyes locked with Will’s, “Will is going to read out your questions and I’ll do my best to answer them”  
“Okay, first question”, Will said, the camera only recoding his voice, “Mike543 and many others asked if you come up with the recipes of your own and when you do so, how long it takes you to make them perfect”  
“Well”, Hannibal took a moment to consider his response, weighting every word. It was a game of saying things that meant everything and nothing, one thing for Will and one for all the others.  
“I’m coming up with recipes of my own, mostly because I want to try out new…combinations. When you have somebody over for dinner, you should five your best of cooking. But with certain classics, liver for example, I use recipes I collected all over the world. A few of my favorites are from Italy and Lithuania. Though I perfect them. It takes lots of experimenting and”, he smiled at Will, the audience probably knowing that he was there because they heard his voice, “Will has to test a lot of my new creations before they are perfect”  
Will smiled back. They were indeed experimental when it came to cooking. But one shouldn’t waste the food.  
“I have to work out a lot when he tries to create something new.”, Will chuckled. They also had a lot of bodies to get rid of these times.  
“Okay, next question. Basically, everybody wants to know”, Will’s face behind the camera spread into a wide grin, “where you get that exquisite meat from”  
Hannibal’s eyes started to glow with amusement and his crooked smile revealed the wrinkles around his eyes: “The quality of the meat is indeed important. I first select the meal I want to prepare and then I personally chose the slaughter cattle according to my wishes. It is essential that the meat is fresh, it shouldn’t be older than two days.”  
He made a pause to let the words sink in, then he locked his eyes with Will. Will understood. “Will and I butcher the cattle personally”, he explained.  
Oh, and how they did slaughter the cattle themselves, Will thought, his mind wrapped around all the dark things that consumed him every time he breathed.  
“But if you can’t or won’t do that, just go to the butcher of your trust. As for my butcher, I can only say that he brings out the best in everything”, Hannibal continued but there was humor in his voice.  
Hannibal’s smile became warm and caring: ”Cooking is very special for me. And Will is too”  
He felt warmth flooding his body. He didn’t need to say something for Hannibal to understand.  
“One of your fans, DianaS, asks if you ever feel bad for the animals”, Will read out the next comment, trying to ignore Hannibal’s compliments. He wasn’t in the mood for embarrassing relationship questions. People tended to ask then more often these times. Maybe because Hannibal kept flirting with him in both subtle and less subtle ways.  
Hannibal’s smile went back to the viewers: “I rarely feel sorry for the cattle. I only eat cattle from free range upbringing and inspect them thoroughly before I slaughter them. Mostly, I go for the ones that don’t behave” He winked at Will, reminding him of how they chose dinner.  
It had taken him no time to adopt to Hannibal’s register of rude people and soon he started collecting his own names and addresses. When chasing their food, they selected carefully, not only choosing victims to eat but also some for fun.  
On their six months anniversary, they had a wonderful weekend trip to Las Vegas. They had disburdened the city of some drunkards and low-key criminals. Of course, they hadn’t eaten them, Hannibal was convinced alcoholics tasted too strong for a decent meal, but the hot blood, the intimacy had been delicious. Hannibal had once told him that killing with his own hands was the closest, the most intimate one could get to another being. It had proved to be true.  
He had seen Hannibal soaked in blood before, thought only rarely as his suits were both expensive and hand-crafted, and every time he stored the view away to remember it always and forever. But this weekend had been more than just that. They had become one when they killed, like one being in two separate bodies, sharing their thoughts, the rush, the blood, the beauty. Savored it.  
They should do it again. Maybe for their next anniversary.  
“Dear Will, can I ask for the next question?”, Hannibal’s voice interrupted his trail of thoughts. He smiled his best fake smile, the one he wore for everybody to see, waiting for Will to find his way back into reality, into time.  
“The next question?”, Will repeated, blinking a couple of times to get rid of the hot, red wetness behind his eyes, “that’d be CookStarXO wanting to know what your favorite meat is and if you do anything other than cooking in your free time”  
Will wondered what Hannibal would say to answer these questions. They were careful enough not to give too much information away. It wouldn’t be good for any of Hannibal’s fans to hunt him down at some grocery store. It would be really rude to do that. And Will had eaten enough rude people to know that their life expectancy quickly counted down to zero when they met Hannibal. Or him nowadays.  
Probably he shouldn’t have asked that question. But considering how Hannibal had pushed him, tested his limits only to go beyond them, he wanted to give something back. Hannibal wasn’t the only person ever able to challenge others. He was too. And he loved to see Hannibal struggle, at least a tiny bit, because challenges and games suited him as much as they had suited, improved him. He clearly remembered, felt, the first time Hannibal had broken his boundaries back at a time he had believed that right and wrong had to be black and white. It had limited him, almost broken him to follow these rules made up by people who couldn’t see beauty, who couldn’t understand. Not as he understood.  
Hannibal’s face looked as controlled as ever when he began talking, but Will knew him well enough to see the amusement and pride hide behind that well-sculptured mask. He had become imprisoned by his mask before Hannibal freed him. He had been imprisoned by all those rules and morals he wanted to follow. Now he was free.  
“As for my favorite kind of meat”, the voice was as friendly and calm as ever, but there was lots of sincerity in there. Meaningfulness, all direct towards Will. It made his heart jump.  
Hannibal continued, his fingers going through his recipe folder full of beautifully written culinary delights, making a show of searching for something: “I always found it very hard to have a favorite because no cattle are like the others and the circumstances always…change, but recently I discovered my fondness for lamb.”  
Hannibal’s usage of figurative speech allowed them to communicate beyond the words said, made all their dialogues a dance on the edge of truth and lies and all the things between. While Hannibal talked, Will saw his mind slipping through all those moments Hannibal had referred to him as the lamb of whose wrath everybody should be scared of. Including Hannibal himself. But he chose not to hurt him in that way, not when it had been Hannibal leading him into this new world of bright crimson colors. He probably was the only lamb ever to fall in love with a stag and to grow antlers to be with him. He couldn’t imagine it being elsehow.  
He looked up, making eye contact with Hannibal. His eyes now were like deep brown orbs absorbing Will whole. He could see the truth in there, could see the blood that became dark black in the moonlight, could see the love Hannibal was feeling for him. The confession he made in front of the whole world, only for him to understand.  
He knew his eyes showed the same. Knew that he was Hannibal’s favorite, that Hannibal wanted nothing more than consuming him in (almost) every way possible. Knew he wanted the same since the first time he had become the Chesapeake Ripper  
“I normally don’t like answering questions about my private life, but this one time I can make an exclusion. Both of us enjoy fishing and hunting. Whereas fishing is not my preferred sport, both of us enjoy hunting together. I also read a lot, especially the classics.”  
Will knew that that was all Hannibal would say to this topic. It had been a clever answer, as clever as he expected it to be. His words were truth and lie all at the same time, sharing the truth, the intimacy only with Will. All of them against all of the world.  
Will read out a couple of other questions, mostly about certain meals or techniques and watched Hannibal answering them in precise, short sentences, his eyes locking with Will’s then and there, sharing his derision for all those blind, blind people among whom Will had always been the one gifted the ability to see.  
There was no such thing as a monster behind Hannibal’s suits and correctness, his sophistication and politeness. All of this was Hannibal, who walked through a world full of blind, dumb cattle all by himself, seeing, smelling, knowing more. He had experienced the beauty that was denied to anybody else. There was no monster. Only Hannibal. And he wasn’t alone anymore.  
“I think most of you have waited for this last question”, Will began and the smile almost split his face in half. He saw Hannibal savoring it, saw him inhaling deeply, smelling his excitement.  
“Basically each and every one of you asked if there is a secret meaning behind this channel’s name. Let’s see what the cook has to say about it”, Will ended his presentation of the question they’d waited for the whole time.  
It was one of these moments their minds and thoughts seemed to blur. He was sensing Hannibal’s excitement and amusement as prominent as his without being able to tell what belonged to whom. Their eyes locked and as Hannibal talked, the smile on his face as honest as it’d ever get, only for him on display: ”I am convinced that we sparked a lot of discussion with our name and I’m equally sure all of you want to know if there is a reason for choosing it. However, I think Will and I should keep at least some secrets. But if anyone of you will be able to figure it out correctly, we’ll gladly explain everything to you.”  
It basically was a challenge to everybody, a challenge, a risk and a game, played in plain sight. It was dangerous as well as exciting, it was brilliant.  
“With that being said, I’ll be happy to go through your theories and hope all of you will watch our next video”, Hannibal concluded, his honest smile revealing his dimples.  
The moment he shut off the camera, Hannibal was in front of him, all over him. Their lips were connecting before Will had time to collect his breath, Hannibal’s hand was cupping his face before he had the time to feel lonely ever again. Hannibal’s fingers were soft and determined all at the same time, caressing and possessing him, laying claim and asking for permission.  
His other hand was on Will’s hip now, pulling him closer until their bodies fit against each other. Will bathed in the affection, his mind spinning, his lips moving against Hannibal’s, his arms participating in the embrace. Hannibal’s breath was labored when they separated and Will couldn’t believe that he had such an influence on the other. He, and only he, had the power to change Hannibal, he was Hannibal’s only weakness and the only thing Hannibal craved for day and night.  
“Why did you ask something about our private life?”, Hannibal scanned his face, a curious expression in his eyes.  
“I was curious what would happen”, Will answered, his voice firm. He heard Hannibal’s breath hitch a bit: “I love it when you say that.”  
“I know”, Will smiled.  
Hannibal kissed him like he’d drown the moment he’d let go. Will wandered if he’d ever let him go. Probably not.  
“If you want to, you can help me make the heart tatar later”, Hannibal whispered, his breath tickling on Will’s skin. Will felt both, alive and home.  
“Aren’t you scared I’ll ruin everything?”, he asked teasingly, not moving an inch away from Hannibal. He heard Hannibal chuckle, felt the vibration on his body, sensed the warmth wrapped around him:  
“A bit. But since the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted to share this with you. All of it. Which includes cooking”, he added, his lips stretched into a lazy smile.  
“We’re going to need fresh meat, don’t we?”, Will asked, his voice ruffled by Hannibal’s lips searching for his mouth again.  
“We can take all the time you want”, Hannibal offered and it was a gift Will gladly accepted.  
“Would be called slow food then, wouldn’t it?”, he said, his grin wide and glowing. It was a very romantic idea to take it slow.  
Hannibal chuckled softly: “It’s wonderful I’m able to share my jokes now.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know yet, but maybe I'll write more of this or the events mentioned by Will...  
> Also lots of thanks to Diana who came up with the title (I'm horrible with titles)


End file.
